Hello friends!!

~~My username is daintytoad because I would prefer to remain anonymous. I am a (soon to be) uni student and I have an objectively good life; loving parents, a stable socio-economic situation, etc (i'm basically the stereotypical 'middle-class white girl with an ed' lol). However, I still find myself feeling 'low' quiet frequently. I am not clinically diagnosed with any mental health issues, so I'm not sure if I am experiencing normal teenage mood swings or something more serious! Nonetheless, I still cope in unhealthy ways like restricting food and self-harming. I've had an eating disorder for about two years now, with periods of extreme restriction to periods of 'normal' eating. I mainly have anorexic tendancies but don't think I have complete anorexia nervosa because I don't always starve. It's still really hard to deal with and has fucked up my relationship with food even though I go through normal eating phases. I think there are a variety of factors that contribute to my low self-esteem/ed; societal pressures, comparing myselfs to others, rude comments, perfectionism and control. I've always been the biggest one of my friends and I just wish I could be the small, pretty one. I feel like I look like an ogre lolol. Thx 4 readin'~~